what my mother taught me...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC." Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12.. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION ."Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING ."You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT ."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM ."When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Author Unknown~

What does love mean?

What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 (I love this one)

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

CALL..."mushi-mushi..."

Numbers for you........

Emergency Phone Numbers:
When in sorrow - Call - John 14
When men fail you - Call - Psalm 27
If you want to be fruitful - Call - John 15
When you have sinned - Call - Psalm 51
When you worry - Call - Matthew 6:19-34
When you are in danger - Call - Psalm 91
When God seems far away - Call - Psalm 139
When your faith needs stirring - Call - Hebrews 11
When you are lonely and fearful - Call - Psalm 23
When you grow bitter and critical - Call - Corinthians 13
For Paul's secret to happiness - Call - Colossians 3:12 -17
For understanding of Christianity - Call - 2 Corinthians 5:15
-19
When you feel down and out - Call - Romans 8:31
When you want peace and rest - Call - Matthew 11:25-30
When the world seems bigger than God - Call - Psalm 90
When you want Christian assurance - Call - Romans 8:1-30
When you leave home for labor or travel - Call - Psalm 121
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish call - Psalm 67
For a great invention/opportunity - Call - I saiah 55
When you want courage for a task - Call - Joshua 1
For how to get along with fellow men - Call - Romans 12
When you think of investments and returns - Call - Mark 10
If you are depressed - Call - Psalm 27
If your pocketbook is empty - Call - Psalm 37
If you are losing confidence in people - Call - I Corinthians
13
If people seem unkind - Call - John 15
If discouraged about your work - Call - Psalm 126
If you find the world growing small & yourself great - Call -
Psalm 19

Alternative Numbers:
For dealing with fear - Call - Psalm 34:7
For security - Call - Psalm 21:3
For assurance - Call - Mark 8:35
For reassurance - Call - Psalm 145:18
Please note that Emergency numbers can be dialed directly.
No operator assistance is necessary.
All lines are open 24 hours a day! 7 days a week!
Always at your service forever!!!