Insomnia.Night shift

I laid on comfy bed this morning at 8 after I bathed away all the microbes accumulated from 9 p.m till 7 a.m. And somehow as I was woke up by some noise from juniors as they finished their class, walking back to their room, passing corridor in front of my room. After that, I heard some aunties chit- chatting in the kitchen next door. I grabbed my hp and press down a button, it said 12. 49 a.m.

Sleep didn't come to me anymore though I felt like sleeping more but I was hungry. I had sandwiches bought in the morning and chit- chat on the phone. And the time flies as it does always.

I should be going out for dinner at 6 then takeaway some nice stuff so that I can chew on them this coming morning when I am hungry and tired. I hate this. I hate being attacked by both of these enemies. They take away my happiness and energy!

I hope tonight I can perform better at work. I hope I can finish off work fast and sign out then sleep, then pack my bag and wait for parents to come over and fetch me back home!!!!!! Holiday until Sunday. What a good thing~

I shall now consider what to eat tonight and when to sleep, to replenish energy. Or else I will be nodding my head and gone 'fishing' on the counter, walking back to hostel like a dead fish~

Freedom

I am free from books and research, assignments. But not work.

I am forcing myself to write this, complete it befire I go for work later for evening shift. (anyone envy me for having to sleep till 11. 30 am?) I have to work today so that I can have more holiday this coming weekend. Ok, tomorrow my shift is M (a.k.a morning *abo then*) Tuesday and Wednesday I am working on Night shift duty. So, I am going home on Thursday till Sunday~ Saturday is replaced by today. That's why I work from last monday till this wednesday in one shot.

I am scared of night shift. Very very very scare... Not because of those 'stuffs.' My main problem is the biological clock. My last time I had, I got insomnia when I tried to sleep after bathing off my bacterias at 8. 30am. I don't like it. It's hard to stay awake too. Have to keep on eating, so they said.

REcently I have been walking a lot. But still, my weight maintained. I don't like it. I thought I can walk my extra fats and calories away. As you become more senior, turn to red pip (on your shoulder) you can do most of the thing. So, you will be given a long list of works to do as you pass by the counter where nurses sit down and write reports. I WANT TO LEARN TO WRITE REPORT TOO!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine yourself in my shoes, that the ward is so busy. You have no TIME to sit down even though there' re so many chairs/ sofas. During the 8- hour of shift, you can only sit down while you eat AT THE END OF THE WORK. That happened in one of the weekdays which is the most busy for admission.
The ward is so busy. Many people admit and drop- by, claim insurance or what... *sigh*

Afterall, although I am complaining this much (I always complaint in my blog no?) but I still feel alright. Beside physical stress. I just hope I can stuff more padding in my stupid, idiot, rock- hard shoes. I hope we can buy own shoes to wear. At least we will blame ourselves if the shoes are unhealthy. I don't want the feeling of talus hitting on footsole! As if the muscle and fat layer have thinned off.

Ok, stop by now. It's time to get a good bath, dress up (like a military) and prepare for lunch, then work (at 6th floor). Hopefully today get to go down for tea time~ Milo + biscuits = simple satisfaction & happiness!

Let them speak

There was a time when a lot of pendrives staying with me, papers all around my working place... sometimes on the floor, when the desk is full. Or bed. Homework from whole group members submitted to me in soft copy. That's when Research study is in progress.


This is taken during printing. Printing Research Proposal, questionnaire and letters for photocopy in order to collect data. Now, all these left behind. Everything gladly came to an end so that I can finally sleep soundly without having to dream about research in the middle of the night, having acnes eruptions, like volcano on my face, have to go thru the pain during facial treatment when the beautician squeeze my pimples and blackheads out.
During the eve of Research Presentation, I was too panic- stricken when I rehearse my findings presentation. There was a moment when I felt like, "Can I give up now, I know it's not worth, but the stage fright rendered me panicky and wasn't able to compose good sentence while presenting." During rehearsal, I was always anxious and sometimes couldn't recall what I had just said. I mumbled out a lot of findings, but when I was back to my conscious mind/ realisations, I just, forgotten whatever I presented.
Afterall, the presention was 26 over 30. Lowest but consider sailed through peacefully. Learnt a lot about relationship, conflicts, leadership, research, SPSS... This was a piece of result that I just had last week. The result was last semester one. In fact, just have it before the Terminal Exam for this semester. Took long time to get this. My clinical practice this time, 76.5%. It's an A minus again. Nevermind, God, I think I haven't learn enough what you want me to. I am not yet molded into the person you want me to become. I know you will console my heart~

*I pray that YOU will score flying colours in your exam, my dear~ I know you can do it!!! I trust you! :)

Updates

I have got my results for OSCE. I got 76.5 %

My medication station was doing well, was able to answer all the indications and actions although I still get 14 over 20. Injection station scored maximum. Catheterization scored 12 over 20 which I thought I was able to score confidently!

I told all my heartfelts to God before and after exam and the results out. God, please comfort me, please fill my cup.

Ok, in fact I never able to get A for this subject. The last semester I had an A-. My next semester the OSCE would not be easy. It's 10 stations per circuit and 5 minutes per station. *sob silently*

Anyway, I should thank God for His empowerment and help. Not helping by telling me answer. But for all this while, during my lowest moment, hardest time, God SUSTAINED me, reminded me thru close friend to always rely on God's wisdom and not own knowledge. Self is ego. Rely is humility and surrender.

Ok, I shall take a good bath before preparing for a workshop. Not spoken by me, by got to be in- charge of the settings and arrangments stuff. I hope I can learn something. Personal grooming. But I don't think I will want to make-up everyday after that. Hate blocking pores~ *tskk tskk*

Last night at Queensbay Mall for Nando's chicken! Something on my chin. definitely not sauce. It must be lighting~~~~ >__<

Everyone love Peri- Peri sauce eh~ I am always opt for lemon and herb (NOT SO BRAVE~) for my chicken.

Separated

for too long.

From the last post till today, so many ups and downs had happened. Today (Friday, 17/ 4) I just completed my practical OSCE exam. It's 5 min for each station. When bell rings, then you go into the little cubicle and read the instructions and carry out the procedures. Complete within 5 minutes. FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!! 300 seconds ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually all the while I never get A for my practical exam. My last one was a good A- in fact. Good improvement. But this time, so senior, not sure whether fail any of the stations or not. *waiting for results*

*waiting for Terminal Exam results too, which ended on a day before OSCE*

I went to Queensbay Mall for Nando's Chicken. Had very good time, laughing and taking photos.

Many things happened. They taught me to remember God always. Remember to call upon God's mighty name when we need deliverance and salvation. I was really panicked and felt so helpless and weak before exam, while lining up to enter into the exam hall.

Updates

New updates!

• just back from Queensbay Mall, had Kenny Rogers Roaster meal for the farewell of Research study
• research oral presentation has over, this morning!
• had presented my research findings, a lil bit better than usual although was crazily, madly nervous! laser pointer broke down, i lost my words sometime. Light affect the LCD slideshow... Had to hint my colleagues to switch off while i was talking.
• had a few technical error, wrong percentage last minute... changed and computer hang and everything back to original mistake-y one!
• learned about SPSS, independant samples t-test and paired sample t-test for the sake of comparing data.
• had a lot of pimples on forehead and cheeks.
  
• one of the nights, only sleep for 1 hour. the rest of the time was used to prepare script.
• i think my public speaking skill has somehow improved. I speak much louder as compared when I was 16- 18.
• i realised that I wasn't unaware of my speech/ words when I am panicky. I lost my words.
• I had not bathed nicely for few days. I hate RANDOM bathing. I miss my bed so much.
• Nightmares can finally leave me alone. I had a few nights which made me to wake up in a start early in the morning, as i dreamt about research study.
• i had a facial treatment last week when I was in Alor Star. got my acnes de-clog and 'disinfect' and my eyebrows trimmed.
• bought a scarlet red sandals from Vincci last week, to match my dark skinny jeans.

ok, got to go and sleep. Bye. Following week is Revision week then Terminal Examination and practical exam. *sobsobzz*

God bless~