A Peaceful Mind Now

The storm finally left me alone, promising a good-weather livings now. Yes, I have seen life. Not all, part of real, authentic life, I would say. Life is still unchanged, it’s still a miserable one. When things don’t go your way and etc…

During those hard times, I cried out to my faithful friend, an unconditional-lover, my Jehovah, in my prayer, I prayed in tears that God will continuously carry me on, when I was so week, and feeling so sad badly… I said this too: “God, please make me humble…please make me a humble servant…be a servant-hearted one…God, I have been suffered from nightmares, all sorts of dreams…please take away them according your divine will and give me good rest every night.”

‘Our God is an awesome God. He reigns from the heaven above.
With wisdom, power and love. Our God is an awesome God.’

In such an amount of words, God shows His sovereignty! After that night onwards, I did not dream of anything already, especially those would make me stressed up in the early morning ones. God took away my burdens. And He has granted me with more blessings. =)

I feel relief then. I manage to accept the cruel facts of reality. I manage to see things in different facets and perceptions. I remember that night when I looked across those photos taken before, I smiled. When he asked me that how come suddenly I have the mood to do so, then I replied saying that I’ve released, I’ve looked widely already…Haha, it was a moment I treasured in mind. It seems like a victory. A victory that I won by God’s grace. 100% by God’s grace. Salvation, and salvation too!

When all those ‘disasters’ happened in lately 2 months, although I remember to pray, but I have forgotten God’s salvation, from the blood shed from the cross.

Jabez prays that “ bless me, increase my territory, deliver me from the evil that cause me pain.” It’s in 1 Chronicles. God answer Jabez’s prayer. I did the same prayer too. I believe that God is the most faithful one in my life. I trust Him. The Scripture says that God will never forsake me even the world hates you. I have the right same feeling too. For once, I felt that God has forsaken me, has left me alone, maybe due to my disobedience.

I believe that God is working in me now, He has His purpose within me. I believe that God is preparing me now to become a nurse. See, a nurse need to be very tolerant, patient, loving-hearted and servant-hearted one. I have never been a really Doer of Words. I do not like to care for people too much…And now, He wants me to love my enemies as if my family. He lectures me with the word ‘Patience.’ Be cool and independent is what I have been pursuing. I enjoy do things alone sometimes. And it’s never a pathetic ones nor a lone ranger. Like some of my friends know, they know I used to go to GSC alone, eat alone, walk around Gurney Plaza, and go online alone… I hope I can go to Langkawi next week. Yea, alone, I do not mind what. I have my uncle there. What I need is a map, a auto-car with some money! Then, there I go.
Oh, penguins! Pingu , pingu, wait for me~

Since I’m a single teenage now, whatever I do, I do not need to report to my partner, I do not need their permission, I just need my parents’ one. Why can’t I do something for myself when I’m single? Why can’t I make use of the freedom I have now? Why can’t I enjoy my single life now? Why can’t I discover what criteria’s I need for my life partner while I’m single?

Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy...Enjoying my life now.
On top of that, I want to unveil my deepest desires for my future. Through my life now, I want to know what I really need to pursue, what is my goals. Living life, heading our life-goals help us live our life to the fullest!

=)